Days feel like Years
by silvermoongirl10
Summary: Dean and Seamus both must deal with the separation from their best friend, while Dean goes into hiding and Seamus returns for seventh year at a vastly different Hogwarts. This story follows both Dean and Seamus at various points during the year, through fear, terror, horror and just the hope of seeing their best friend again.


**A/N This is only my third** _ **Harry Potter**_ **fic, and my first for Dean and Seamus, so I'm sorry if anyone seems out of character! I intended this as a friendship fic, but I suppose you can see it how you want.**

 **Also I am really bad at writing accents, so Seamus' dialogue is just bog standard dialogue I'm afraid.**

* * *

It was a hot July day, the sun was shinning brightly and children were outside running around and laughing. Dean, however, did not feel like laughing, he was running, but not for fun, he was running for his life. He was a muggleborn and thus a target for the new Ministry of Magic, with the muggleborn commission. He had to run to keep his family and friends safe, which was why he had just apparated not far away from his best friend's house. He'd come to say goodbye to Seamus. It was going to be hard, he knew that, he didn't want to leave, but he had to. He had to keep everyone safe, but he _knew_ Seamus was going to fight with him, Seamus wouldn't let him leave, and if Seamus protested just enough Dean didn't know if he would be able to carry out his plan. _But he had to_.

He arrived at the house he had spent many weeks in over the years in the summer holidays. It was a little cottage in the Irish countryside with ivy covering most of the front; it looked cheerful and welcoming, which it was. The Finnigan household was a happy and welcoming one. Sometimes Dean didn't know how Mrs Finnigan coped with her son and husband being the jokers that they were. Apparently, according to Seamus, once Mr Finnigan had gotten over the fact that his wife, and any future children they may have, were magic, he'd been fascinated by it all. He had even found Seamus' explosions hilarious, Mrs Finnigan not so much, as she had been the one on many occasions to fix their ruined kitchen.

However, it was not with a smile upon his face that Dean arrived that day. With a solemn look he walked up the gravel path and knocked on the door. It swung up open to reveal a flustered looking Mrs Finnigan.

"Oh Dean! Thank Merlin! We've been so worried about you since the Prophet published the information about the muggleborn commission." Hastily she ushered Dean inside.

"That's why I'm here," he softly murmured.

Mrs Finnigan nodded sharply, "Good thing to, don't want to put your family at risk. We'll hide you here." She added firmly.

Dean's face crumpled in pain, and he slowly shook his head. "I've come to say goodbye. I'm going into hiding, but I can't hide here. I don't want to put you at risk."

"I understand lad," Mrs Finnigan sighed, her face creased in worry. Biting her lower lip she gestured to the stairs, "Seamus is in his room. I don't know if I want him going back to Hogwarts this year, but I remember the fight he put up two years ago, so I don't think I could stop him."

He gently patted her shoulder as he walked towards the stairs. He passed Mr Finnigan who gave him a solemn nod, who undoubtedly had heard the entire conversation.

"When this is over, you better come back safe and sound lad," he gruffly commented.

"I will," Dean responded, but he didn't know if it was a promise he would be able to keep.

He wandered down the upstairs hallway and reached Seamus' room. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, a quiet voice muttered a 'come in', so he opened the door and suddenly found himself with the breath knocked out of him as Seamus launched himself at Dean.

"Thank Merlin! I was worried about you mate!" exclaimed Seamus, taking a step back to look at his friend. Dean swallowed nervously. He had to come out and say it; the more he waited the worse it would be. The smile on Seamus' face dropped when he saw the serious look on Dean's face. "What's wrong?"

"I've er… I've come to say goodbye," he forced out.

"What?" asked Seamus in a quiet voice.

"I'm leaving Seamus, I'm going into hiding." He rung his hands together, pinching his hands until they hurt. Seamus was looking at him blankly in shock, his eyes wide.

Then the blank look faded to be replaced with stubbornness. "Alright, then I'm coming with you."

Dean gaped in shock, "You can't!"

"Why not?" growled Seamus in frustration.

"You've got to stay safe! That's why I'm leaving! To keep you and my family _safe_!" argued Dean.

"You can't go out there alone!" protested Seamus, swinging his arm out to point at the window and the green hills beyond it.

" _I have to_ ," Dean bit out through gritted teeth. "You have to go back to Hogwarts."

"And you think that's going to be safe?" asked Seamus, laughing bitterly. "Dumbledore isn't there anymore! Who says Hogwarts is going to be any safer than being on the run? I'm coming with you!"

Dean slowly shook his head; he rested his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders. "You can't Shay. I've got to go alone."

"But we're best mates! Like _brothers_!" argued Seamus in a last ditch attempt.

"And that's why I've got to go. Why I have to say goodbye," Dean smiled sadly.

Seamus looked up at Dean, his blue eyes wide and hands trembling. With shaky hands he gripped Dean's sleeves. "Dean. _Please don't go_."

"I have to Shay. You have to go to Hogwarts. You have to stay safe." Said Dean firmly. He brought Seamus in for a bone-crushing hug, not knowing if, _or when_ , he'd see his friend again.

Slowly he backed away from Seamus, brown eyes locking onto blue ones. Each one desperate not to leave the other, Dean's back hit the door and he opened it, Seamus was still staring at him wide eyed in disbelief. And Dean hated this, he _hated_ it with every fibre of his being, but he had to go. What would happen if he didn't?

Unlike his slow progress with getting to the door, with one more look at Seamus, Dean quickly left the room and hurried down the stairs. Mrs Finnigan, with tears in her eyes, pressed into his hands a backpack full of tins and camping food Mr Finnigan insisted on saving for emergencies, well this was an emergency. With a hug from Mrs Finnigan and a clap on the back from Mr Finnigan, Dean was leaving the little cottage and hurrying down the path. He didn't look back once, knowing if he did there was a high chance he'd turn around and stay. He reached the end of the path and disapperated, not knowing that his best friend had watched him leave with saddened eyes.

* * *

It was November now. Hogwarts was nothing like it used to be; all the students (well apart from the Slytherins) were always looking over their shoulders, worried about the Carrows. Nobody walked tall and proud, they were slumped over and tired and defeated. There were some, a small group that Seamus was apart of, the reinvented Dumbledore's Army, at the dead of night they would paint slogans and do as much as they could to raise spirits. But nothing was the same; there was no laughter, no smiles, and no happiness. Only defiance and desperation.

A lot of students were worried about doing anything wrong, worried that it would endanger their families. Seamus hated it. First and second years shouldn't be worried about that, they should be to preoccupied about having fun and causing mischief and enjoying the last couple years of childhood before becoming teenagers.

There were nights, like that evening, when Seamus would sit dejectedly on his bed in the dorm, staring at the empty beds of Harry, Ron and Dean. Dean who he had heard nothing from since that painful goodbye in July. Now he felt more alone than ever. As his mother saw him onto the Hogwarts Express in September she had muttered quietly that she and his father were going into hiding, so he had to spend holidays with his grandparents. While Seamus hated it, he understood, his mother was a witch who had knowingly married a muggle. For now, it wasn't safe for his parents, no safer than it was for Dean. However, unlike Dean, he got news from his parents, just through his grandparents. It was killing him though, he had no idea if his best friend was alive or dead, and it was the uncertainty that was the worst.

School had used to be fun, and he'd spent his time in his first years trying to stop causing explosions. Now though, now he purposefully caused explosions, just to annoy the Carrows, and if one of them happened to be caught in the explosion. Bonus points for him, that's how he saw it, but in reality that just landed him a detention, which he could barely walk away from in the end.

Just that afternoon, in the newly named Dark Arts, they were being taught the Cruciatus curse, being instructed to use it on first years. Of course not Slytherin first years. A small blonde haired Ravenclaw had been shoved in front of Seamus, she had looked up at him with terrified green eyes. They locked wide-eyed gazes and in the background could hear her screaming classmates. Her eyes began to fill with tears but she stubbornly held them back and looked Seamus square in the eyes, stood ramrod straight, accepting of her fate.

Something broke in Seamus. He remembered his own first year and how exciting it had been, but this Ravenclaw would never experience that. She would never know the immense joy of exploring Hogwarts in her first year, would never snigger at fellow classmates who performed spells wrong, would never duck her head in embarrassment at her own misfortunes and would never excitedly chatter with friends when she cast a spell right. _She would never have that_.

Amycus, seeing that Seamus had not raised his wand stormed over. "Why are you just standing there?!" he raved.

Seamus said nothing, just stood there and glared back at Amycus. The Death Eater growled and shoving the girl aside he got right in Seamus' face. "Cast the spell."

"On you certainly I would," smirked Seamus. "But not on her," he snapped.

Amycus' eyes narrowed and took a half step back, " _Cast the spell_."

"No."

The next thing Seamus knew was extreme pain, he knees buckled and left him writhing on the floor. The pain was unbearable, but he tried not to scream, but the longer it went on, he found himself unable to hold back his pain filled screams. As his head twisted, he saw the girl stood to the side, gripping the wall looking at him with terror filled eyes and tears silently sliding down her cheeks.

Eventfully Amycus stopped, but the pain to some extent remained. Neville rushed forwards and helped him to his feet. "I've got you Seamus, I've got you mate," he whispered soothingly.

The lesson was over, the girl came and gently hugged him before bolting from the room. Slowly Neville and Seamus made their way back to Gryffindor tower. Neville was pale and held onto Seamus with dear life, Seamus felt like he was in a daze; he didn't really know what was going on. The next thing he was aware of was Neville gently lying him down on his bed. Tiredly he shut his eyes, trying to block out the remnants of pain that still thrummed through his veins.

Later that night, staring out at Dean's empty bed with saddened eyes, just one thought swirled around his head, as he silently begged.

 _Just let Dean be spared this._ Please.

* * *

Dean sat huddled in his tent, listening to Ted prattle on about his wife and daughter. However, he wasn't listening, just the day before they'd managed to find an old, discarded Daily Prophet. They desperately read through it, ignoring the propaganda, looking for news on friends and family. It was then that Dean saw an article about new classes being taught at Hogwarts by twin siblings, new Professors. He didn't know anything about the Carrows, but Ted did, and it was not good news. They were Death Eaters.

He pressed his face into his hands, imagining all types of horrors that Seamus must have been facing. He was supposed to be _safe_ , he told Seamus to go back because it was _safer_ than being on the run. _He was wrong_.

Ted paused and gently shook Dean's shoulder, "Think positively, there's no way they could get away with killing a student."

Dean shot him a half smile, but inside he was crying. Maybe they couldn't kill students, but they would probably get away with torturing students. The Carrows, and Snape, were Death Eaters, they didn't tend to kill their victims first. They tortured them first.

 _Oh Shay what have I done? I should have let you come with me. Then at least I'd know how you were. I was wrong, so very wrong._

* * *

The beginning of March brought relief for Dean, now the biting cold of winter was starting to fade. It wasn't just him and Ted anymore, and the extra company was nice, even if it included two goblins. Not a day went by when he didn't think of his best friend stuck at Hogwarts. He could never risk sending a letter, it wasn't just him anymore, but he was desperate for news. Despite knowing exactly where Seamus was, the uncertainty was killing him. He'd convinced himself that Seamus was fine, and once the war was over they would go back to being best mates and would share a flat in London as they had planned in sixth year.

However, soon everything changed. A week later snatchers found them. He could only watch on in horror as Dirk and Ted tried to defend them all and were killed. He and Griphook were taken to Malfoy Manor, where they were dumped in a dungeon with Luna and Mr Ollivander. They were mostly left alone, they sometimes got food, but it wasn't much when they did.

One night Dean sat huddled in a corner staring out at the darkness, thinking that it was all over; he was never going to see his friends or family again. Assuring to himself that in the end, he had made the right decision in not letting Seamus come with him. He smiled thinking of Seamus back in the dormitory with Neville complaining about his homework. What he didn't know was that, like himself, Seamus had been spending nights in a cold, dark and damp dungeon. Just that Seamus was at Hogwarts and not at Malfoy Manor.

Almost two weeks after he was caught, he was surprised to see Harry, Ron and Hermione. He knew that the pain filled screams of Hermione as Bellatrix tortured her would forever haunt him. After that everything was a blur and he found himself at Ron's eldest brother's cottage on the seafront.

The next day he stood on the beach and breathed in the air, feeling his muscles relax for the first time in months. He was finally safe. He found some pencils and paper, and sketched out on the beach for hours on end, feeling utterly content.

After the trio disappeared off somewhere, he and Luna would walk up and down the beach everyday, not yet used to the feeling of safety.

One day he turned to her and gathered the courage to ask, "How was Seamus when you last saw him?"

Luna paused and tilted her head in thought with a smile on her face. "Well I last saw him before Christmas, but he was fine. Causing explosions though."

Dean chuckled, "Sounds like Seamus." While it had been three months since Luna had seen Seamus, Dean took comfort in the knowledge that at least _then_ Seamus had been fine. What he didn't know however, was that Neville and few others of the seventh years actually knew what Seamus suffered before Christmas, his treatment wasn't obvious then. It was a different story now.

* * *

Seamus sat hunched over against the freezing wall of the dungeon he had been thrown in the day before. He'd obviously taken his insults of Alecto too far, not that he personally cared. It had been two weeks since he'd heard of the deaths of Ted Tonks and Dirk Caswell on Potterwatch, two men Dean had been travelling with. Despite how much he didn't want to believe it, he was facing the fact that his best friend was probably dead.

The misery of that thought provoked him to fight back harder against the Carrows. His face was now littered with scars and bruises. He was now a favoured victim of the Carrows for his disruptive nature towards them and had on many occasions suffered the effects of the Sectumsempra spell. That spell was the cause behind many of the scars littered across his face, arms, chest and back. There wasn't a part of him that didn't hurt, but he just didn't care anymore. With Dean most likely dead he had to get back at the people who had made him go into hiding in the first place.

That night the Carrows had used a different spell on him, but it still caused him to bleed from wounds and caused them to hurt long after the spell had been cast and the blood stopped running.

The door was suddenly thrown open and there stood a grinning Amycus. "You can go now. If you can make it back to your common room."

Seamus got to his unsteady feet slowly, everything hurt, he didn't want to move, but he couldn't stay in that place any longer. He had been left alone with his thoughts, thoughts of his dead best friend which were so painful themselves, they hurt just as much as his wounds.

He staggered and almost fell numerous times, he wasn't sure if he got the password right but the Fat Lady swung the portrait open anyway. There was Neville and Lavender waiting for him. Lavender gasped seeing his blood covered face and she hastily sat him down and began healing him the best she could.

He just sat on the sofa staring into the flames of the fire, already coming up with other ways to disrupt the Carrows. Neville seemed to know what he was thinking, because as soon as Lavender went up to bed, Neville stood in front of him not looking happy.

"This has to stop Seamus," he firmly said.

"What does?" sighed Seamus, he was tired and just wanted to sleep but just couldn't face the stairs to the dormitory.

"You _know_ exactly what I'm talking about! You can't keep fighting them like that!" exclaimed Neville.

Seamus got to his feet and glared at his friend, "Why not? _You do_!"

" _I_ don't try and get myself killed doing it!"

"I'm not trying to get myself killed!" countered Seamus, but part of him conceded that he wasn't exactly trying to keep himself from being injured.

Neville frowned, "Ever since we heard about Dean being missing, it's like you don't care what happens to you!"

"Of course I bloody don't!" exploded Seamus, throwing his hands up. "He's most likely dead, so of course I'm going to raise hell for the Carrows and Snape. It's because of them and their _master_ that my best friend is dead!"

Neville grasped as tightly as he dared to Seamus' shoulders. "You don't know that's he's dead! You've got to have hope!"

" _What hope_ Neville?" choked Seamus, his voice steadily getting louder. "There _isn't any left_. There's nothing to say Dean is alive, my parents are in hiding and could be found and killed at any moment! The younger kids are being _tortured_ , so I'm sorry that I don't believe in feeling hope anymore!" He sucked in deep breaths and tried to hold back the tears stinging his eyes. The truth was he felt like he was at the end of his rope and that soon it was going to snap.

Neville nodded sadly, and wordlessly helped Seamus up to their dormitory. Once Seamus had settled down to sleep. Not even looking at Dean's empty bed anymore. Neville looked over at him and whispered. "I still believe in hope, and I understand how you feel. Just one day I wish you'll believe in hope again. It's all we've got."

* * *

It was happening. They'd gotten word that the Order was going to Hogwarts, they were going to fight. Dean was shaking with excitement, not for the upcoming battle, but because after ten months he was _finally_ going to be able to see his best friend again. He all but ran through the tunnel from the Hog's Head, Luna smiled at him; she knew why he was so eager to go to Hogwarts.

They stepped through the portrait hole; there was a huge mass of people in the Room of Requirement, and for a few seconds Dean panicked. He couldn't see Seamus _anywhere_. His heart thudded in terror, what if something had happened to Seamus after thinking his friend was safe, after all these months.

Suddenly a delighted shout caught his attention.

He knew that voice.

It was Seamus.

He darted his eyes across the room, searching for his best friend, _his brother_ , but Seamus found him first. All the breath was knocked from Dean as Seamus collided with him in a bear hug. They clung on to each other with dear life.

Dean took a step back to look at his friend, and he stared dumbfound. Seamus was all but unrecognizable. Bruises and cuts and scars covered his face, his lip was swollen, he had a black eye, and despite it all he was grinning widely.

"It's good to see you mate!" smiled Seamus.

Dean just stared at his friend's face and tightened his grip on Seamus' arms. He didn't miss the small flinch his friend made. Suddenly he realized that it couldn't only be Seamus' face that was hurt. And that hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Oh Shay I'm so sorry!" choked Dean, loosening his grip a little.

Seamus frowned, "What for?"

Dean gently lifted Seamus' hands and saw scars lining the backs of them and the backs of his arms. "I should have let you come with me. I thought you'd be safe here. But you weren't!"

"No it was right for me to come back," replied Seamus with a shake of his head.

"What?" exclaimed Dean in shock, and with a pained voice added. "But look what they've done to you!"

Seamus smiled softly and squeezed Dean's shoulder. "Every bruise and scar on me, is one that isn't on a younger kid. Their childhoods are already haunted enough, they didn't need this as well. Better me than them kids Dean. They've been scared enough as it is this past year."

Looking into Seamus' eyes, Dean could see that his friend had changed. The past year had been difficult for them both. However, while Dean had become thin and gaunt and paranoid from going into hiding, all fixed by his stay with Bill and Fleur. Seamus had been fighting the war from the second he stepped through the doors of Hogwarts back in September. And it showed. Looking into the blue depths Dean could see that Seamus had experienced horrors no one their age should ever have faced. Also, the fact that Seamus basically admitted that he had gotten between the younger kids and the Death Eater Professors, told Dean that Seamus had grown up before his time. Everyone had.

He turned back to listen to Harry complain about Neville contacting everyone, and he took a good look at all his friends who, like Seamus, had come back to Hogwarts for their seventh years. The number of scars and bruises differed from each person, but they _all had them_ , undoubtedly Seamus and Neville had the most, which made Dean wonder _what on earth they had been doing_.

Soon enough it had been mutually agreed that they were now fighting. Everyone was hustling out of the Room of Requirement, all going to different areas of the school.

Seamus was going off with a group of other students to blow up the bridge, on McGonagall's orders, something that was making Seamus giddy with excitement. Because _he had permission_ to blow up the bridge _._ Before Seamus ran off to the bridge, Dean reached out and pulled his friend to a stop.

"Don't get yourself killed," he said, wide eyed. Eerily reminded of their goodbye ten months prior. Yet again they were parting, not knowing if they would ever see each other again.

Seamus grinned back, "Don't plan on it." He then grew serious, "You better not get killed either mate."

Smiling in return Dean said, "Like you, I'm not planning to." With one more nod and a squeeze of shoulders, they were running in different directions.

Soon enough chaos reigned in Hogwarts. Death Eaters surged through the castle, each one Dean faced, he wondered if they were one of the Carrows who had tormented Seamus and his friends during the year. Seeing what was done to the students made Dean all the more determined to win. _This couldn't happen again._

He took a moment's breather and turned sharply, hearing and seeing the bridge go up in a bang of smoke. He chuckled to himself, seeing the size of the explosion Seamus was probably whooping in glee. Good old Seamus.

A spell whizzed past him, barely missing him. He shook his head and charged back into the fray.

* * *

As suddenly as chaos reigned, just as quickly came the hour break Voldemort gave them. Seamus found himself slowly making his way towards the Great Hall. As he entered he stopped short in seeing the line of people laid out next to each other, pale and unmoving.

Faces of people he had known from happier and simpler times at school stared blankly up at him. Seeing Colin's wide, unseeing eyes, he flinched and tried to take a step back, but a voice calling his name made him stop. He breathed a sigh of relief as Dean approached him, at least Dean was all right, but his eyes flickered back to Colin and the others. He and Neville had spent the school year protecting them to best of their abilities from the Carrows, and now they were gone. Some of them, like Colin, should never have remained in the school. He'd helped them all year, and look what good it had done.

Dean stood in front of him, looking concerned, but still he found he could not look away. One thought ran through his head, _this couldn't be happening, they'd all suffered enough at the hands of the Carrows. They shouldn't be lying there…dead._

He startled when gentle hands guided him across to the other side of the Hall, and had him sit down with his back to those who had lost their lives.

Seamus buried his face in his hands and gripped his hair tightly. It wasn't fair. How could this happen?

"Shay?" asked a quiet voice, the owner of the voice then untangled his fingers from his hair.

He turned his head and peaked up at Dean, feeling that if he kept his face hidden and didn't see what had happened. Then none of it was real. _It just couldn't be real._

Dean was looking at him worriedly, "Shay are you hurt?"

"No more than I was at the start of all this," he responded in a hoarse voice. The moans of the wounded made him flinch; they could too easily be screams of terror and pain in his mind. He'd heard them enough in the battle, not to mention during the school year when he'd been forced to watch his friends be tortured.

He and Dean just sat there silently, one not sure what to say and the other trying to block out what was happening around them.

It just had to be over soon. _It had to_.

* * *

It was over! Voldemort was dead and gone. Despite his relief Dean was desperately searching for Seamus, they had gotten separated in the final showdown, and he was worried for his friend. During the hour's pause in the battle, he hadn't known what to do. Seamus never acted that quiet and defeated, it was as if the sight of their fallen friends, especially Colin, had broken something in him. It had for all of them, but Seamus had spent the better part of a year trying to protect them all. So Dean had let him sit there silently, knowing from the look on Seamus' face that his friend didn't want to talk.

Dean spun around on the spot, where was Seamus? He _had_ to be alive. He couldn't have fallen, not after everything that had happened the past year. Panicked eyes darted across the Hall. _There_.

Seamus was propped up against the wall as someone tended to his left leg. Dean hurried over. "Shay you okay?"

Seamus looked up and smiled, "Yeah, just some exploding wall debris knocked me over and landed on my leg."

Dean sighed in relief and sunk down to sit beside Seamus. "Always explosions with you isn't it?"

"Guess so," chuckled Seamus.

They were both grinning. Happy that the war was finally over, happy to be able to see their families again, and happy to have their friend back.

"I'm glad you're back mate," mumbled Seamus through drooping eyes.

"Me too," smiled Dean, wrapping an arm across his friend's shoulders. He looked out at the Hall and took in the relieved looks on people's faces. He startled and turned back to Seamus when he felt something land on his shoulder. Smiling fondly, he was met with the sight of Seamus, fast asleep, with his head resting on Dean's shoulder.

He tightened his grip on his friend, and then leaned back against the wall, resting his chin on Seamus' head. Hopefully things could go back to normal now. Back to how they should have been all along.

* * *

Both Seamus and Dean were reunited with their families and both returned as eighth years that September. Dean determined to complete his seventh year, and Seamus determined to experience seventh year, as it should have been the first time.

They both suffered nightmares, everyone did really, but they were always there to save the other from their demons. Seamus never really talked about his year at Hogwarts without Dean, until one particularly bad nightmare, when Dean decided it would be best for him to talk about it. So Seamus had talked, and Dean had listened, biting back tears at the images his mind produced of all the horrors Seamus had faced. The memory of Hermione's pain filled screams came back to him, and were easily replaced with Seamus. That night, they comforted each other after their nightmares.

After finishing their seventh year, they got a flat together in London, just as they had always planned. Dean painted and sketched to his heart's content, also selling his paintings and sketches. While Seamus became a Healer at St Mungos, it seemed to help him accept and move on from what had happened that year with the Carrows, being unable to save everyone. Now he could help treat every person that walked through the doors. It was soothing for him.

Sometimes life was hard, but they got through it together, and everything worked out for them in end.

 **The End.**

* * *

 **A/N I read a fic (can't remember what it was called) where Seamus became a Healer, and I loved the idea so much, and as we don't know for definite what Seamus did after the war, it became my head cannon.**

 **Anyway I hope you enjoyed this!**


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